I am at apartment.. in my cocoon.. for Day 4.. doing absolutely nothing but surfing and BT-ing... manage to actually see DOHA's rain for the first time, experiencing Winter in desert area.. All these Emptiness.. actually makes u think about your life more and more... i am @ the quarter of my life, and looking back.. i am not sure what i have done.... till now, there are lot of things that is still fresh in my mind.. although it happened like maybe 10 yrs ago... Here is the list of "MOST" stuff tht i have done and how i feel about it..
Most Regretful things that I have done :
- Jumpin a red light once, with my mum as the pillion, almost kill both of us... This is the most regretful thing and the most stupidest thing i have ever done. I could still not forgive myself for this incident.
Most Happiest Day of my life :
- Father's day 2007, I knew my wife is pregnant with my baby.. I love kids but i would never thought that i would be a father... Thanks to my lovely wife, for the best ever present in my whole life..
- The arrival of Princess Kei Kei on Feb 15th 08.... what can I say.... there is no words in the world to describe the feeling..
Saddest day of my life :
- Feb 15th 08 : Seeing my wife in the labor room.. suffering to give birth.. seeing some you loved so much, suffering.. is torturing...
- My Grandma leaving me - My grandma,( mum's side ) left without seeing me getting married and she did not manage to see my daughter..
- Wife's grandma ( mum's side) left without seeing Kei Kei as well...
- A few weeks back, knowing that my cousin, Jeanie has a cancer and it is in critical stage..
- Nov 11th - leaving my dearest wife and BB and family while i leave for Doha....
All these Flashback.. makes u wonder.. how long i would remember all this? I wish i would remember all this to keep reminding me on what i have done, and what i need to do....
As always, in this emptiness, i miss my wife and baby soo much..
Leaving your family is not a painful thing, Missing them is......
MY wife reminded me on someting.. on how long i did not hug her the way she wants me to hug her... the Koala hug... i am not sure how long has it been as well.. soemetimes, you tends to take things for granted and until it is too late....
Last week, i was kinda sadden by a comment made by a friend to me.. she says that she never sees me as a family man cause i am able to leave my very young daughter and wife behind and work so far... I was actually kinda hurt by that comment.. but one of my frens in Doha, a wise man says to me " We are doing a noble thing by providing food and shelter for your family" .. those words keeps me going.. and with the support from my Family.. i will stay focus and achieve my objective very fast... so that i can go back and spend my life with my family again...
I remember one of my best mate, who gave me this advise when i was in doubt... "remember, every decision you make, no matter stay or go, is a right decision"... Thanks Hooi for the comment, not sure you meant it or not(hehehe).. but i get the idea behind it..
anyhow.. 2 more days of EMPTINESS for me here.. will update again if i feel like it... :) .. for all my frens, i wish you all good health and happy always.. all of you are in my prayers day by day..
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